Skopje, 20 March 2025 (MIA) - Psychologist, psychotherapist and counsellor Radmila Zhivanovikj in an interview with MIA highlights the need for psychological support for all those directly affected by the tragedy in Kochani, the closest community of the victims, as well as young people overwhelmed by social media information in ways that are disorienting, and therefore she stresses the need to react immediately. We also have citizens, she notes, who need more time to take certain steps forward after such collective tragedy. 

"At this time, support is needed more in terms of accommodation, care, treatment, organizing transportation, accommodation of the families themselves to be closer to their loved ones. Psychological support to all who were in some way directly affected, and are ready to ask for such support, all those who are part of that community, the closest community, and even young people who are overwhelmed by social media information in ways that are disorienting, there is need to react immediately. On the other hand, we have some citizens who are stuck in functional freeze and are unable to move forward, experiencing such a type of traumatic reaction, that it takes them longer to start taking certain steps forward," Zhivanovikj says. 

The interview with the psychologist was conducted on Wednesday, a day before the funerals for the victims in the terrible fire that claimed the lives of 59 people and left over 170 injured. Zhivanovikj says the privacy and mourning of those who need it now should not be violated.

"We need to have some consideration and distance from some events. We are all grieving, but everyone's pain is so intense at this moment, although on a collective level, this is not an isolated event, this is a collective tragedy. Everyone needs to be in tune with themselves, to see what can be of help, but at the same time be aware that they need to check with those who need it most, whether such help is needed at this time," said Zhivanovikj. 

She points out that this is not an isolated event, but a collective one, adding among other that some recommendations for coping with a crisis are truly useful and the appropriate communities... schools, for example, should engage around them.

She believes that the coming period will spotlight all those processes that are very dysfunctional in the development of our youth. 

"From the very beginning, I have seen that young people have enormous strength and energy to talk about things, to come together to say what they think. That is our future, but yet from the very beginning, I have also witnessed adults who want to control them, to keep them in check, to tell them this is how it should be done or that is not how it should be done. All of this creates enormous pressure, because the systemic trauma that we are sitting here talking about now is that we are giving them a lesson simply that they should be obedient," she says.

If we continue to teach them obedience, Zhivanovikj notes, we will all end up in the same place where, unfortunately, those innocent young people ended up.

"We must teach them that they have the right to create conditions in which they will choose, they will want to grow and develop," she stressed.

Zhivanovikj says that collectively we all have a syndrome in which we sacrifice ourselves for the needs of the abuser, not knowing that we should stop at some point.

She points out that there are two directions, either we will be victims and continue to be victims, complaining that others are to blame and we can't do anything about it, or we will decide that we will change some things.

"In that direction, we need to respect emotions and accept the emotions of the others, and reject our own feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. Let's see what we can do in terms of changing that feeling of helplessness and powerlessness," says psychologist Zhivanovikj.

This terrible tragedy that will haunt us for years to come should be a call for awareness, an awakening for all of us to finally emerge from that deep sleep, she points out, and not to force children to be joining us in that sleep and hypnosis.

Zhivanovikj is part of the "Psihoterapika" team that offered support to those who need it most, immediately after the tragedy in Kochani.

"The offer remains open in the coming period. We know that people will not show up immediately because people need to orient themselves, where they are at, what they need. It is difficult to get in touch with their needs. The grieving process is yet to come. What I expect is that there will be a greater need further on, after 40, 50 days, people will start to face their situations, they will come out of shock, they will face reality," Zhivanovikj notes.

She announces psychoeducation and support for colleagues who help and work with people who are directly or indirectly affected by the tragedy itself. "In that regard, I want to say that this does not only apply to the people who are directly affected, but to all those who are in some way at this time spending their resources immensely to make them available to all those who need them - healthcare workers, medics, police, firefighters, the military and the media," psychologist and psychotherapist Zhivanovikj said in an interview with MIA. 

Elizabeta Veljanovska Najdeska  

Photo/video and editing: Vlado Rabasovikj